Malevolent Podcast Wiki

A clear path, a pure heart, a third choice...

The Three-Pronged Path[]

In the Fourth Age, there existed an easy peace among the Voters.

The Tale Of Two-Timed Fate[]

Written by Dipity the Vigilant, this poem captures...

'Twas in the Land of Discordia where the backread’s long and grey—
Believers peddled ‘pinions, poll caught in constant sway.
For truth or lie or sneakery, two hundred voices on the winds
At once called for their chosen choice, and no side would give.
The fight raged ever onwards, ‘till one clear victor lay:
The champions of Lying had won their blessed day.

But Hark! The gods’ dear prophetess, by name of Dani’s Mom
Did give her voice when called upon, in aid to underdogs.
Her plea did shake the rankings, and while sneaking stayed below
The army of the Truthers rose up to strike their blow.
Under watchful eye of Guardians, Truth stood and made their case.
With slideshows, bribes, and logic, they took hard-fought first place.

With only one day lingering before the polls would close
It seemed without a doubt that this was where the voting froze.
No more the near-miss tying flips, no more logic to be heard—
Their fate was grim accepted by those marked Gallowsbird.
The final day did dawn in peace, with end finally in sight
When Harlan came and tore the veil: “Dani’s mom is always right.”

Lo, the panic! Lo, the scrambling! Our GM’s voice did sound!
He spoke in counter to our lead, of an unequalled turnaround.
Sneak lay entombed, forgotten, only fourteen percent to name
But when our leader blew the war-horns, the voting armies came.
Brave soldiers, tired and broken, from a long week spent at blows
Rallied at once together, arm in arm with former foes.

The prophetesses’ daughter, rose up as final guide
With Soothsayer, Night-watch, Aebriel, and dozens more beside.
By inches and by single votes, percentages did creep
From fourteen then to fifteen, and not one soul could keep
Their eyes pried from the numbers, in flux in constant sway
With only hours remaining till the ending of the day.

The voting seemed to settle, at count of thirty-three
A single vote could make or break, so close was the degree.
So cross-stitch, art, and memery! The wall of cat pics grew!
Till finally, in darkest hour, sneaking did pull through.
At final count, the armies lay with count of thirty-six
By barest of percentages, the vote had two-times flipped.

This is our tale, our epic feat, the double-flip of lore—
This victory shall always be held in the tomes of yore.
From Lies to Truth and then to Sneak, a tale for history
And Dani’s Mom—O! Dani’s Mom—we owe it all to thee.
'Twas in the Land of Discord, we heard the cry ascend,
The Horns of Paula calling, and shall heed them till the end.

The St. Cytosine’s Day Speech[]

Little is known about Saint Cytosine, one of the older figures in Discordia. Appearing rarely in P'llcht, they typically raise their voice on behalf of the old banner standard: No Ties. When Shakespeare wrote this speech and named it after St. Cytosine, however, he captured another facet of Saint Cytosine’s character: their eloquence. In Shakespeare's version of events, this speech was recited in the early afternoon of Sunday the 30th, pronounced so that all Patrons could hear, and be united behind its call:

This day is called the Double Flip
They that vote this day, and vote with pride,
Will stand a tip-toe when the day is named,
And rouse them at the name of Sneaking.
They that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast their neighbours,
And say ‘To-morrow is Double Flip Day:’
And the name of Dani's mom shall be enshrined
As prophet and as guide to light the way,
We few, we happy few, we band of comrades;
For they to-day that cast their vote
Shall stand in honor and let the wiki bear their names
With walls of pet pics, for bribery posted there,
And the gallant crew who kept watch upon the night
To guard us from the horrors of a tie,
So shall the legend long resound
Of flips from lie to truth to sneak,
Of fortitude, of courage, of shitposting,
That won the battle of the Double Flip.


Dani's Mom (Folk Song)[]

“Dani’s Mom” utilizes a tune written in the 5th century, one of the most enduring melodies in history. While other cults have tried to emulate the success of this song, there has been none more successful than Che Má, possibly because she is herself a mother. Below is the stanza historians generally agree to be referring to The Great Double Flip, but there are infinite variations of stanzas, dependent on time, place, and audience.

Words by Dipity the Vigilant
Music by Adam Schlesinger & Chris Collingwood

Dani’s mom
Has never been wrong
She’s all we need
Her intuition’s so strong
Dani go and ask
So she’ll tell us how to act
We can vote without a qualm
When we vote with Dani’s mom

Poem Translated from Old English[]

translated by Liz of the Night's Watch and Wizard of Lore

Lo! the Voices' glory through splendid achievements

The Che Ma's fame we have heard of,

How her disciples and their foes displayed then their prowess-in-battle

Three choices there presented, each with adherents most sincere

By battle fierce, brought to the fore were each of three futures

'Til at last, the final choice was made upon the Word of Paula

By the Author, Three Choices Granted

One choice only could shape the future of the narrative

So did the Voices spake amongst themselves

Three Factions did form

The Liars of the North, whose hopes did ride on Oscar's presence and word

The Truthers of the Midlands, those who trusted in the power of honesty

Sneakers of the South, slippery souls who trusted in the limitless potential and risk

On the first engagement of battle, it was the Voices of the North who were the loudest

Yet many doubts remained, for all were nervous

Prophetic dreams were had by fish that spake for the southern sneak

While soothsaying was their lot, none did heed this seidhr

As battle wore on, with the Southern Sneakers fully routed

The North-folk and the Truthful Midlanders fought on most fiercely

The Red Wizard, She of the Night's Watch did invoke words carried on raven's swift wing

A plea to the child of prophecy, that Dani's Mom, Che Ma, whose truest name is Paula

For wisdom and clear vision of the Narrative to come

The reply came: SNEAK

Yet in hours hence, the Midlanders had brought nearly low the North

Neither still had decisive victory, the Narrative still in constant flux

The south in ruin, so clearly defeated

Speeches made and rallying battle cries

Aebriel leading the charge and Dipity with clever words:

"Tell all the truth but tell it slant —

Success in Circuit lies

Too bright for our infirm Delight

The Truth's superb surprise

As Lightning to the Children eased

With explanation kind

The Truth must dazzle gradually

Or every man be blind —"

At last, the Midlands call for Truth did prevail

And the petitioners of Che Ma did lament

The Author, seeing what was wrought, did spake:

"Dani's mom is always right."

From the south, a sudden desperate surge

The Night's Watch called upon the Green Herald, announcer of the twists of choice and chance

And upon scribe of lore new and old

And to battle they went, war-worn but unbowed

Promises of wealth and knowledge to any who would defect

Slowly, steadily, did the south advance

Creeping forward on whispered remembrances

Of the battle for the caboose

Wherein did Dani's mom so correctly determine finest wyrd

Time did run short, but destiny drove on

A final flip of fate's weaving

The sneaking south did stand triumphant

The final moments carefully watched for the chaos of dreaded tie

By the Night's Watch and the Midday's Watch, Guardians of the Line

One on each side of an ocean vast

The Author spake one final time, with wyrd now set

"The unthinkable hath happened. The truly unexpected.

The absolute incredible amount of effort has paid off.

Mark the date. It is the day that the people spoke

Dani’s mom succeeded and did more than you’ll ever know.

This is truly incredible.

I never want it to be forgotten.

This was the day Dani’s mom triumphed."